You know that Macklemore song in which he sings about a broken keyboard? Well, not to sound like a total groupie or anything but yeah, I bought a broken keyboard. For $7.99 at the Ballard location of Goodwill Seattle. I don’t mind if you’re slightly oh-so jealous.
I am not a tech savvy person, by any stretch of the imagination. My fiancé, on the other hand, is in the software industry and does stuff like write code/invent new software patents. He is like the left brain to my right one. Together, we form a somewhat complete brain, but missing many many (several) key elements. He is a good man for putting up with all of my technical ineptitudes throughout the years. Here are some prime examples:
- I broke my laptop. He asked me what I was looking for in a new one e.g. storage space, battery life, image quality. I told him I wanted something with a big flat surface on top, so that I can close it up and use it as a lunch tray when noon rolls around.
- I once came up with an idea for an invention. I called it The Lunch Tray Laptop 2.1 EXL with dual cup holder attachments and silverware portals. This idea did not make it much further than my brain. The right one.
- I used a Nokia flip phone for many years, until my sister told me it was embarrassing to see me navigate a phone with a missing #9 button. I told her I was keeping my vintage phone for as long as it worked. She bought me a Nexus. It then sat in its box for a month until my vintage phone with the “perfectly aged peeling paint” crapped out.
- I rarely watch T.V. For the occasional dose of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, I call up my fiancé to turn it on. My favorite T.V. show is the one in which I stare at my reflection off of a blank television set, for thirty minute increments at a time. No reruns.
So what does a technically handicapped person do with a broken keyboard? Valentine’s Day gift for my computer lover. My plan was to make a picture frame composed of keyboard letters/numbers. Here is what I rounded up: alcohol, broken keyboard, E-6000 glue and a flat faced picture frame. I bought this frame at an Austin Goodwill for $2.99. It was made by someone named “Newton”. Let’s just assume his first name is “Isaac”, shall we? The alcohol is optional. It makes for some interesting glueing techniques, so keep it handy.
Step 1: Pour yourself a drink. Or two. You may need a nap if you go beyond three.
Step 2: Pop out the letters of the keyboard and arrange them on the picture frame. There will be some spacing in between some of the letters, so use this to your advantage. Arrange the spaces artistically. Then take the E-6000 glue you’ve been sniffing, and glue everything into place.
Step 3: I left the frame to dry a bit and figured I should come up with some backing to the frame, if I intend to use it to hold pictures. Keeping in line with the computer theme, I decided to use the cardboard box that my laptop came in. I just cut it down to the measurement of the frame.
Since I’m usually behind the camera, we don’t have many family portraits. Or at least cute ones. By “family”, I mean my fiancé, the dog and myself. So I drew one. On lined paper, since I kind of like the lines.
Here we are. The drawing’s scale is pretty accurate.
I actually snuck in some words and phrases while I was arranging the letters. This one reads, “I am John” as you can very well read for yourself.
And then the bottom goes, “Software Guy”. This one requires a few extra IQ points.
And here is the romantic keyboard picture frame for my Valentine. I plan to present it to him while whispering sweet Java script in his ear. Maybe some C++ action. I don’t know. We’ll see what we have time for after I give him his card made out of beans.