Thank You For Not Stealing My Baby Name; Here’s A Bookcase

Posted on March 14, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

My Facebook Friends List looks suspiciously like a page torn out of a daycare center’s yearbook. Don’t ask me how my friends look like nowadays. I wouldn’t be able to pick them out of a police line up. Or at a party in my own home. It happened overnight, it seems like. Profile pictures of college students performing keg stands have been slowly replaced by two year olds doing milk chugs. Friends are always encouraging us to have babies as soon as possible but my response? ”We’re in no rush. It’s kind of nice to sit back and learn from everyone else’s mistakes”. At any given moment, my News Feed reads like a CliffsNotes version of What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Or for some, What To Expect When You’re (Not) Expecting. I find it all fascinating. Thanks to social media, I now know what to feed a child for the best abstract diaper art. Beets and leafy greens for color. Corn for texture. But more importantly, I’ve been fully educated on the cutthroat business of choosing a baby name. And I’m not even expecting.

The age of sixteen was when I first became aware of the stress involved in naming a child. I was working at a Mexican restaurant called Pappasito’s at the time. There, I met one of the most influential persons in my life. I can’t recall her name, but that’s not very important. What is important is that her son was named Markweist. Inexplicably, it is pronounced in the same manner as “Marcus”. In her defense, she would’ve named her child Marcus but made the mistake of sharing her chosen name with her best friend. The best friend had a baby before she did and ended up using the name herself. It was all very tragic. It was then, while wearing a sombrero and calling out for “Smith, party of two and a half!”, that I realized the importance of choosing a baby name early on and keeping it to oneself. I mean, you could share but who wants to add on 22 extra letters to a name because your best friend decided to lift yours? Unacceptable. If you don’t end up wanting kids, you can always use the name for a dog or a pet alpaca. Benjamin Theodore Thomas Ferguson III makes for a great alpaca name, I’ve heard.

So when our friends “C” and “O” decided to name their newborn “Baby S”, I was elated. One, the baby is healthy and beautiful. And two, Baby S was not on my radar of potential baby names. As a baby shower gift (as well as a Thank You gift for not using my baby name), I decided to go with two items. One to use and one to amuse. For the practical side, a Diaper Genie was chosen. And since some of my favorite memories centered around books and libraries, I decided to make Baby S her very own miniature bookcase. Out of an old jewelry box. Here’s what I used:

Wooden jewelry box. Get the tall one with the doors. I got one from Goodwill for $9.99.
Paint & paintbrush
Scrapbook paper
Sandpaper
Screwdriver
Saw
Double stick tape
Pencil/felt tipped pen
E-6000 glue
Scrap pieces of wood. I had a damaged paint canvas that had a wooden frame. I used that.

Step 1: Using a screwdriver, remove the doors, hardware and drawers. Then strip off the velvet they use to cover it all. Mine was mauve pink. Hopefully, yours has festive velvet coloration as well. Here’s a picture of me peeling away. Just in case you’re unsure of how to peel. Sometimes I forget. Usually after midnight on the weekends.

Step 2: Next, take a low grit sandpaper and start sanding. Just enough to get the clear coat off so that your paint will stick.

Step 3: Brush off the sawdust and wipe it down a few times with a damp cloth. Then paint it with your choice of paint color. I chose a Behr color. I can’t remember what it was called but it had the word “cottage” in it. Cottage cream or cottage dream. Who knows. You’ll need a few coats of this stuff though.

Step 4: Leave that jewelry box alone for a day to dry. Then take some more low grit sandpaper and lightly sand the edges to give it a distressed look. Don’t press down too hard or else you’ll end up taking off too much and the whole thing will look more damaged than distressed.

Step 5: Cut out scrapbook paper to fit the back of the jewelry box. You might want to measure first. Then find your stash of pencils. No one seems to have pencils anymore but you’ll want to track some down for this.

Step 6: On a purple/grey paper, I used a ruler to measure out half inch lines. Then I went on Google Fonts and chose a few different styles. Using some of my favorite quotes from children’s books and poems, I drew them onto the paper freehand. I left a little area blank in anticipation of the shelf that will go there.

Step 7: Once that was done, I took a black felt tipped pen and traced the letters. Then I erased the pencil lines. It came out quite well. The quotes I used were written by Roald Dahl, Shel Silverstein, A. A. Milne and Dr. Seuss. Take the double sided tape and stick these onto the back of the jewelry box.

Step 8: Locate your scrap wood. Again, mine was just the wooden frame to a damaged canvas. I found that the width of each wooden piece was roughly half of the depth of the jewelry box. So, I could use two to make a shelf. Measure and cut the wood to size. You will want a shelf that is the depth and width of your box. Then, cut out two extra pieces about half a centimeter in square thickness. The length will be the depth of your box. This sounds difficult but look at the picture after this one and it makes more sense. It’s relatively easy.

Step 9: Paint the wooden pieces in the same color you’ve been using. Then affix the two small wood pieces onto the jewelry box using the E-6000 glue. You will want one on either side. Place it where you’d like to see the shelf sit. Then place the wooden “shelf” piece on top.

Step 569: Almost done. You might want to start making plans to do normal things like pee and shower again. I found a wooden letter “S”, so I decided to glue that on top. I would’ve painted it but thought the raw wood was cute. I’m sure the newborn will approve.

Step 1425: Buy some books. This is the fun part. Children’s books come in all shapes and sizes so I bought the ones that were able to fit into the baby’s bookcase. ”O” and “C” are both in the software industry and plan on teaching their child the programming language, Ruby. I couldn’t find a small edition of that so I settled for Linux instead. Along with her Dr. Seuss books.

Step 22.5: Baby S is also fortunate enough to have parents who are both fluent in Spanish. So I threw in a little Spanish translator. It’ll come in handy when she’s nineteen, and in Cancun during spring break, trying to order a beer. Or find her way to a biblioteca. While drinking a beer.

And here is the gift for Baby S. Hopefully, she’ll remember this gift when I’m too old to drive and need a lift to the liquor store, library and bookstore. All in that order. Then repeat.

Tin Can-delier: Chandelier Made Of Tin Cans

Posted on March 1, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

My fiancé is vegan. He’s been one since the days of Walkmans and floppy disks. The urban foraging obsession came much later, though. I woke up one morning, years ago, to find him consuming what appeared to be houseplants. ”Are you eating our hanging fuchsia?” I ask him. He stops chewing for a second and tells me, “Yeah. I found out on Wikipedia that the fruits are edible. Isn’t that amazing? It’s like a hanging food source we’ve been unaware of!”. I quickly assess the situation and respond, “Shall I take you to Home Depot’s garden section for brunch, my love?”. Honestly, I have no idea what took him so long to make the trek north to Seattle to be with his fellow people. Maybe he wanted to collect enough plaid shirts to pair up with his Marmot jackets, along the way. Who knows.

The public parks here are like grocery stores to him. Leave him alone at Discovery Park for thirty seconds, and he’s already knee deep in some wild berry bushes. Ask him where he is and he’ll respond, “Aisle five!”. ”You mean, the North Beach trailhead?” I yell back. “Same thing,” he tells me. Once, he came wandering back to me while popping wild blueberries into his mouth. He tells me that they’re amazingly fresh yet oddly salty. I looked at him, then the dewy fruit and explain to him, “Um, that’s probably dog pee you’re tasting”.

Life is wonderful for an urban forager, here in Seattle. When it’s spring, summer or fall, that is. The fruits, mushrooms and my patio plants are plentiful during those seasons. When it’s wintertime and Discovery Park is no longer offering free food service, my fiancé starts urban foraging through our kitchen cupboards. He loves finding canned beans. I am a huge fan of tuna. During the wintertime, we manage to go through a small pile of canned goods by the end of the week. These cans are then brought to the recycling area about a hundred yards away. One day, laziness and creativity were playing particularly well together and I decided to make something out of my stash of tin cans versus walking them to the recycling area. I decided to make a chandelier made out of tin cans. Then I named it my “tin-candeiler”. Here’s what you’ll need:

Lampshade with the shade part removed. So, just the wire frame. Goodwill has plenty.
Wire mesh. You can get this off of an old window screen.
Wire
Lightbulb
Small chain. I used old chain necklaces for this.
Lamp kit. Get one at Home Depot or find an old lamp and strip it for its cord/lightbulb socket.
Scissors
Drill with various sized drill bits
Lots and lots of aluminum can tops
2 large aluminum can bodies. They should both be large enough to fit over your lightbulb.
Heavy duty gloves
Thin nails and hammer
Wooden board

Step 1: The list of materials calls for a “lampshade with the shade part removed” but I assume most people haven’t done that yet. So, let’s go ahead and do that, shall we?

Step 2: Take the wire mesh and cover the entire lampshade frame. It will look like a very shallow sifter. Attach the mesh to the frame with wires. Then, cut a hole in the middle where the center is. This will be where you thread the lightbulb cord through. A centimeter in width is what you’re aiming for when cutting that hole.

Step 3: Once you have that set up, go ahead and poke the lightbulb and cord through. Hang this up to the side somewhere for now. It’ll probably be lopsided. Mess with it later.

Step 4: Take inventory of your aluminum tops. Then gauge how important your fingers are to you. This project is a great one for anyone possessing extra phalanges. You might, in all likelihood, lose a few digits. So, you’ll want to wear some gloves for this project. Then divide your goods into three piles. Half of the tops should go into one pile and the rest should be divided evenly into two piles of 25% each.

Step 5: For 25% of the tops, you’ll want to trim off…oh, let’s say a half centimeter of material from the edge, all around. Place this onto a wooden board and nail it down with two nails. Situate these two nails about two millimeters away from the edge and at polar opposite ends. This will secure the tops so that you won’t have a dangerous spinning disc when drilling.

Step 6: Okay, so now you can go ahead and drill some holes. Use different sized drill bits to make a design of your choice. I opted for a swirly theme but you can do whatever.

Step 7: Drilling and cutting aluminum tops for hours can drive you nuts, one tiny drill hole at a time. Invite some friends over. People love watching craziness bud and blossom.

Step 8: Move on to the big pile of tops. Do the same exact thing to this pile. But when you make that cut around the edge, go for a deeper one. Take off 1.5 cm this time from the edge.

Step 9: For the rest of the tops, you’ll want to make them into spirals. This is pretty easy. Assuming that you still have both of your hands at this point, hold a top in one and a pair of scissors in the other. Cut in a one centimeter spiral all the way in. What you’ll get is a spiral that looks like a spiral. Sorry, my thesaurus sucks.

Step 10: Remember those holes you nailed in? And remember those capiz shell lamps you were about to buy but didn’t because they never went on sale and you get buyer’s remorse when you buy full price? Actually, that probably wasn’t you. That may have been me. Well, locate those holes and your chains and string the tops together like those capiz shells. You can mix and match the sizes. I sure did.

Step 11: Attach each string of strung tops to the mesh contraption with more chains. Make sure you attach it to the outermost edge.

Step 12: Working about an inch away from the edge, put up your spirals with long strands of chains. I forgot, poke a hole at the top of each spiral first.

Step 13: Then, take your two aluminum can bodies and drill some festive holes in them. Stack them up on top of one another and attach the two. Then place it around the lightbulb and string that up as well.

And here is my tin can-delier. Mother Nature already thanked me for this one.

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Final Day (Finally)

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

I love New York City. I just outed myself as a non-resident, in calling it by its full USPS-approved name, didn’t I? How middle America of me. Ok, “The City”. It’s where rich people go to feel poor. Where else could you spend $3,000/month to live in a closet masquerading as an apartment? Every time I feel like as if I have too much change in my pockets, I book a flight to Manhattan. Or take a trip to Whole Foods down the road. Whichever one is cheapest. And let me tell you, Whole Foods does not often win.

Going from Seattle to The City is a jump in many regards, but the two cities have much more in common than you would think. Anthony Bourdain compares Seattle to “Brooklyn before there was a Brooklyn”. This is mostly true, but overlooks the fact that Seattleites, well…they’re really not that cool. And that’s how they like it. The majority of the population here are like a Who’s Who of Doctor Who fans. My fiancé is one such enthusiast. He’s planning on wearing a celery boutonniere to the wedding. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t try to eat it halfway through the ceremony. But the main difference between the two cities is the clientele who shop at stores like Goodwill. NYC has real homeless people in there, The Emerald City largely does not. In Seattle, that homeless looking guy that you tossed a quarter to? Probably the CEO of some software company. He’ll gladly take that penny too, and shove it into his fanny pack. And that fanny pack was, more than likely, purchased at a thrift store during a half off sale. Because seven figure incomes just doesn’t buy what it used to.

This is why, while in New York, I sometimes forget myself and strike up random conversations with legitimate homeless people, under the misconception that all of their hardwiring is intact. For example, on the final day of redoing my sister’s apartment, I stepped into the Salvation Army on 3rd Avenue. Spotting a gorgeous olive green leather chair, I immediately go over to lay my claim by sprawling myself over the armrests. Looking at the price tag, I mutter to myself, “$24.99? That’s cheaper than stealing it. Not that I would ever do that, just in case anyone is listening”. A middle aged man sporting a shirt with more dirt than fabric hears me and spits out, “Ya got crack? I ain’t gonna steal it from ya…if ya just give it to me”. This was when I un-sprawled my limbs and made a quick exit, while telling myself not to make eye contact within the four walls of a Salvation Army in NYC ever again. But it was a steal of a deal, and I went back later that night to buy the chair. Here it is.

I gave it a good wipe down with a wet towel. Then I thought better of it and disinfected the entire thing with the strongest anti-bacterial cleanser I could lay my hands on.

The gorgeous detailing in back is definitely more valuable than two Snack Packs and a Fruit Roll-Up in an elementary school playground. It is a deal like this one that makes thrifting so rewarding.

After Salvation Army, I hopped on over to its cleaner cousin, Goodwill. There, I found these gallery frames for $7.99 and $10.99. I initially intended to replace the print with something else, but ended up kinda sorta really liking the simple black and white photography. A lot, actually. I arranged them simply grouped on the living area wall. I had two random wooden curtain rod ends, so I threw those up there as well. I may or may not have used a level.

Here is what the Living Room Area looked like “Before”.

On Day 5, this is what the Living Room Area looked like “After”. It’s the same area, just different view, I swear.

Remember the random stuff I was hoarding from different thrift stores? Giant thread spools large enough to keep two sweat shops in business until 2015?

Here they are, living the retired good life as adornments to the coffee table I had refurbished a few days prior.

And those plaster medallions? I stuck them on the wall, then realized I measured incorrectly. So, they were slightly off-center. In my defense, it was after happy hour. Instead of rehanging everything, I re-centered the entire grouping by adding the wooden spool of leftover twine to the end. I love it when laziness and creativity come together.

There is an antique ironing board that my sister has, which we picked up in New Hampshire, years ago. I really liked the board, but found the backside hardware much more interesting that its plain top. So, I ended up displaying it, backside forward, as a stand alone piece in the living room area.

In its previous life, the ironing board was hanging out with a rope ladder that we had found outside of a Babycakes NYC. This was years before. I cut the rope off of the wooden rungs and displayed it in a glass container.

Sitting beside that rope display is the glass lamp base we found at Goodwill. I placed my sister’s river rock collection under it. Then I added a lampshade we found on clearance, from Bed Bath & Beyond, for $9.99.

My sister, she is wonderful. Absolutely darling. But she’s not someone you would categorize as being of the overly emotional variety. She avoids hugs at all cost. Instead, she’ll give you a hand hug, if she likes you. Fist shake if she doesn’t. And handshake if she couldn’t care less. For really special occasions like weddings and funerals, she will also add in a heartfelt thumb nuzzle with that hand hug. This is strangely comforting, I should probably add. So, it came as quite a shock when I showed her the finished apartment and she was, how do you say it? Teary eyed. I asked her, “Um, this hasn’t ever happened before, so I’m not quite sure how to proceed…but um, are you…are you crying?”. She quickly looked away and muttered, “No, my eyeballs are just sweating. Those corneas, you know how they just love to sweat. Sometimes I wonder how many calories my pupils burn while dilating, alone. Hey, you didn’t get rid of my giant 24 pound wheel of cheese, did you?”. She told me that she loved what her sweaty pupils were seeing.

A few days before, I had found a wine rack at Goodwill. I then placed two terra cotta planters into the wine rack. I tilted the planters to make it all fit in. Then I dabbled on some Behr paint in “River Walk” to add some color.

Home Depot had some plants. I found one for $3.99 and another for $3.49. I took them both home with me. After paying, of course. Here are the plants in their happy new home.

I then placed the wine rack planter on top of the existing black table. To change up the entire look, I took out the existing hardware and replaced it with our free Anthropologie dresser knobs. She had saved those rings of wood from a wedding, years before.

This table was placed at the foot of the bed. Here is a view of the Bedroom Area “After” I had repainted the walls, added window treatments and redone the bookcases.

It’s kind of a huge jump from the canvas-used-as-window-treatment genre of decor I had witnessed during Day 1.

Another “After” view.

Here is the homeless chair I had found tossed out onto the streets. I rehabbed it with some spanking new fabric and then paired it up with a sexy side of revamped dresser. Let me know if my choice in adjectives is starting to creep you out. I’m pretty sure it does.

It’s a rather nice little seating area. The entire chair/dresser combination is off to the sides a bit, so it’ll be of service to some of my sister’s more socially awkward guests. If she ever decides to host a dinner party. But then again, she takes after our dad. And according to our mom, our dad “cooks, alright. Your dad cooks from the couch”. Maybe she’ll have a tuna can opening/eating party.

This 248 sf area of my sister’s apartment was done in five sleepless, flu riddled days. You may want to scroll through Day 1-4 to see the full renovation, including the kitchen and green dresser area. I also managed to redo it for far less than our initial $500 budget. Here is the breakdown of the spending:

Paints: $51.88
Paint Supplies: $14.99
Furniture & Furniture Renovating Materials: $99.98
Wood: $11.82
Plants: $7.48
Fabric: $23.00
Wall Art: $27.37
Decor: $150
Miscellaneous: $48.24

Total Cost: $299.76 (Correction: Apparently, I can’t input numbers correctly on my calculator. The total is $434.76. Still under budget but much less money left over for drinks. Thanks to people who pointed this out).

And a final look at the NYC apartment before I flew out the next morning. It was time to go back to the unshaven and plaid wearing populace of Seattle. A place where you can say things like, “Yeah, I’m going to have to decline that invite. There’s a secret mushroom patch I’ve been foraging. I kind of want to make a final harvest before chanterelle season is over. I mean, my famous wild mushroom risotto isn’t going to make itself, girlfriend” and people nod with intimate understanding.

The Key(board) To A Computer Nerd’s Heart

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

191

You know that Macklemore song in which he sings about a broken keyboard? Well, not to sound like a total groupie or anything but yeah, I bought a broken keyboard. For $7.99 at the Ballard location of Goodwill Seattle. I don’t mind if you’re slightly oh-so jealous.

I am not a tech savvy person, by any stretch of the imagination. My fiancé, on the other hand, is in the software industry and does stuff like write code/invent new software patents. He is like the right brain to my left one. Together, we form a somewhat complete brain, but missing many many (several) key elements. He is a good man for putting up with all of my technical ineptitudes throughout the years. Here are some prime examples:

I broke my laptop. He asked me what I was looking for in a new one e.g. storage space, battery life, image quality. I told him I wanted something with a big flat surface on top, so that I can close it up and use it as a lunch tray when noon rolls around.
I once came up with an idea for an invention. I called it The Lunch Tray Laptop 2.1 EXL with dual cup holder attachments and silverware portals. This idea did not make it much further than my brain. The left one.
I used a Nokia flip phone for many years, until my sister told me it was embarrassing to see me navigate a phone with a missing #9 button. I told her I was keeping my vintage phone for as long as it worked. She bought me a Nexus. It then sat in its box for a month until my vintage phone with the “perfectly aged peeling paint” crapped out.
I rarely watch T.V. For the occasional dose of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, I call up my fiancé to turn it on. My favorite T.V. show is the one in which I stare at my reflection off of a blank television set, for thirty minute increments at a time. No reruns.

So what does a technically handicapped person do with a broken keyboard? Valentine’s Day gift for my computer lover. My plan was to make a picture frame composed of keyboard letters/numbers. Here is what I rounded up: alcohol, broken keyboard, E-6000 glue and a flat faced picture frame. I bought this frame at an Austin Goodwill for $2.99. It was made by someone named “Newton”. Let’s just assume his first name is “Isaac”, shall we? The alcohol is optional. It makes for some interesting glueing techniques, so keep it handy.

Step 1: Pour yourself a drink. Or two. You may need a nap if you go beyond three.

Step 2: Pop out the letters of the keyboard and arrange them on the picture frame. There will be some spacing in between some of the letters, so use this to your advantage. Arrange the spaces artistically. Then take the E-6000 glue you’ve been sniffing, and glue everything into place.

Step 3: I left the frame to dry a bit and figured I should come up with some backing to the frame, if I intend to use it to hold pictures. Keeping in line with the computer theme, I decided to use the cardboard box that my laptop came in. I just cut it down to the measurement of the frame.

Since I’m usually behind the camera, we don’t have many family portraits. Or at least cute ones. By “family”, I mean my fiancé, the dog and myself. So I drew one. On lined paper, since I kind of like the lines.

Here we are. The drawing’s scale is pretty accurate.

I actually snuck in some words and phrases while I was arranging the letters. This one reads, “I am John” as you can very well read for yourself.

And then the bottom goes, “Software Guy”. This one requires a few extra IQ points.

And here is the romantic keyboard picture frame for my Valentine. I plan to present it to him while whispering sweet Java script in his ear. Maybe some C++ action. I don’t know. We’ll see what we have time for after I give him his card made out of beans.

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 4

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

Hi again. Nice to see that you’re still here. Don’t worry, you’re not overstaying your welcome. I mean, this isn’t even my apartment, so you’re fine. Just make sure to eat her bread in even numbers, or else you’ll “off” the slice number in her loaf. Ever been inside of an 8x5ft kitchen though? It’s a lot like being inside of a 5x8ft kitchen. No? Well, today must be your lucky day my friend, because I’m about to make that a reality. This is not a tiny kitchen, mind you. I prefer to call it a “Reheater’s Dream Kitchen”. Because lord knows, my sister is the best reheater of them all. Ask her how to serve tuna out of the can, and she’ll show you at least ten different ways. But this is the sort of room where, if you want to turn around, you’ll have to back up the way you came, turn 180 degrees in the hallway, and then walk back in reverse. It’s sort of fun. The first three times. But take a look at what I was presented with, in terms of “Reheating/Can Opening Home Space”, upon arrival.

I initially wanted to add some color to the walls, but soon found out that laying down paint was an impossibility in this space. Instead of your run of the mill drywall, the kitchen walls were made up of some sort of industrial plastic composition that wouldn’t hold regular paint. I’m pretty certain that the owner of the building had them installed in anticipation of some heavy duty meth lab cookery to be performed in these kitchens. There seems to be no other plausible explanation. Putting up a fabric faux wallpaper with cornstarch was also out of the question, since all of my sister’s reheating would’ve softened the starch over time. This would result in the fabric coming undone. So, I was left staring at this panel and finally came up with a solution.

First off, I needed burlap. I know everyone (and their mothers) are all about the burlap right now. It’s on the cusp of being as uncool as the mason jars of two years ago, but I really like the neutral color and coarse fabric. So I wasn’t afraid to implement it in this space. You know a trend is toeing the line of being yesterday’s news when you find it being used as a tablecloth for a two year old’s cupcake birthday party at a house “just outside of Omaha and down the street from Costco!”. But I’ve never admitted to being cool a day in my life, so here is my uncool burlap along with my kinda cool upholstery tacks.

I cut the burlap to the measurement of the walls that were being redone and stitched the hemline. This was so that there would be no ugly unraveling down the road. A simple backstitch will suffice. Since the plastic walls are impenetrable, I opted to put the fabric up along the edges, where the wall met the cabinetry. This area was caulked in, so I used that to my advantage, by pushing in upholstery tacks all along the edge.

Once I had the fabric up, I added some knickknacks I gathered up. My sister bought the shelf from TJMaxx, years ago. I used it to display interesting things found at Goodwill. I had packed some, but many were found at the location in NYC. The measuring spoons are from Anthropologie.

Speaking of Anthropologie, we actually had a rather fortuitous trip there earlier that day. My sister and I dropped in, promising that we wouldn’t buy anything this time. But the laws of nature is what it is, and we ended up picking up a few small things. First, we got these perty perty napkins at $7.95 a pop. Perty isn’t a word, by the way. Unless you were reared in Texas. Then our cashier got distracted by the busload of tourists who were doing an invasion of the store. She, in turn, forgot to ring us up for the dresser knobs, saving us roughly $15. And there may or may not have been some tights and a few small, very small clothing articles purchased as well. The branch-like hooks are actually from Anthropologie’s sister store, Urban Outfitters. They were marked at $12 per hook in-store, but 2/$20 online. I mentioned this difference in price and the cashier gave me the hooks for the online price, saving me $4. That’s coffee money. Or a taxi ride halfway somewhere.

And here is the new home for my perty perty napkins, a book on housekeeping from the 60′s (hilarious) and some colorful (clearance) finds from Fishs Eddy.

Kitchen (front view) “After”. To put up fabric around the outlets and grates which were in this kitchen, I first removed them. A screwdriver should be enough to take out the outlet plates and grate cover. Pinpoint exactly where the outlet/grate hole is in relation to the fabric. Cut out a rectangular piece in the fabric that is slightly smaller than the outlet/grate hole itself. Then replace the outlet and grate cover. The fabric should be held taut by the time you finish screwing in the covers.

Here’s a picture of the kitchen’s vintage grate before the fabric treatment. I’ve actually found similar grates like these in architectural salvage stores in Seattle for $50-$75. Sadly, the dying lucky bamboo plant isn’t worth as much. All the poor thing needed was a sympathetic hand to toss it into the trash chute.

Here’s the same area but with fabric treatment. These Pyrex glasswares were a great find during our road trip though New England, a few years back. They were something like $10 apiece. I thought the colors were nice so I used it as display, versus tossing them up in the cupboards to collect dust.

When I said that the kitchen walls were made out of meth lab materials, I meant all but one wall. There’s a wall to the immediate left that is not opposed to be painted or nailed upon. Here it is.

I decided to keep the original white color to this wall, since I wanted to keep a color palette of white, burlap tan and black in the kitchen. The bright accessories were there to add pops of color. To add some black to this space, I took this old pre-printed artwork and some chalkboard paint. Make sure to stir the chalkboard paint like crazy or else it’s not fully mixed.

It took a few coats of chalkboard paint but here’s what came out of it. Oh, I also trimmed the edges of the frame with pale yellow paint leftover from another project. Then I hung up those branch hooks from Urban Outfitters. You can use this chalkboard for anything though. Doodles, menus, nail file. You name it, it does it.

View of the kitchen when I’m on my back, in the hallway. A most natural position, I assure you.

When the previous renter moved out, he left some treasures for my sister and I to play with. Here are two of our favorite goodies: lamps from Ikea. He left us this short table lamp and its floor lamp twin.

There’s really nothing special about the lamp as is, but I wanted to make it into a paper towel holder. First, I took off the felt bottom. It comes off pretty easily. Then take a screwdriver and loosen the lightbulb socket up top. There’s probably two or three screws in all. And I hope you have enough sense to unplug that thing first. If not, well…carry on. Once you loosen that up, cut the wiring completely off, replace the socket and glue it in with some heavy duty glue. Paint the black socket a festive color of your choice, or not. I’m not one to tell people how to paint their paper towel holders. Then place a roll of paper towels through the top. Hold it into place by screwing in a lightbulb. Just use one that’s already blown out. Now you have a paper towel holder/art piece thing that’ll scare the plaid out of your hipster neighbors down the road.

Since we’re still in the “Fun With Ikea Lamps” mode, here’s the other transformation. This one had the same exact lampshade but was taller. I decided to go Restoration Hardware meets Pottery Barn, inside of an Anthropologie store with this one. Restoration Hardware is all about the deconstructed/industrial/I’ll-overcharge-you genre of design. I personally love it. Who needs a savings account in this day and age? So with that in mind, I went on a deconstruction spree by tearing off the paper parts of the lampshade, leaving only the base metal exposed.

You know those nautical rope lamps they sell at Pottery Barn? They also sell the same ones at Anthropologie, but for twice as much? Cause the cool kids don’t buy Pottery Barn anymore? I kept those lamps in mind, then I went to Home Depot. I grabbed some natural rope, about one centimeter around in thickness, and more E-6000 glue. First, I tied a tight knot at the top of the lamp and glued it down with some glue. Leave some rope at the end of the knot.

Once I applied glue all along the pole of the lamp, I wrapped the rope around and around until it reached the base. Then I glued the rope down to the base and added some safety pins where needed. These were taken out when dry. Here is my $10 rendition of the Pottery Barn rope lamp for $199, and Anthropologie rope lamp for $348. You can add a lampshade if you’d like, but I think this wire frame is a bit more updated and significantly less seaside cottage-y.

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 3

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

Day 3 turned out to be a pretty routine day for me. One minute, I’m trying to decide between clotted cream or lemon curd to spread on my scone (I ended up doing both) during high tea at The Crosby in Soho. And the next? I’m dumpster diving. In my heels. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit since there was no actual dumpster involved. Here’s the story: My sister and I were walking along 3rd Avenue when I spotted a pile of discarded furniture outside of Vintage Thrift, so we crossed the street to have a look. Nothing was really worth lugging home, except for this chair. Absolutely love the lines of this piece. It just needed a few coats of paint and someone to get rid of that awful pleather cushion cover. So, we picked it up and dragged it home.

Once we got back, I noticed that there was a slight separation between two of the joints in the chair. To fix this, I dabbed a little wood glue to either end, pressed down and held it in place with a makeshift clamp. It was, by no means a fancy contraption. I just used a very heavy textbook and the laws of gravity to hold the joints together. Once that was done, I sanded down the entire chair and wiped it down with a damp cloth. Next, came primer…or if you’re too lazy to go buy primer like myself, I just did a base layer of any old white paint lying around. Same thing, if your finish paint is light in color. I think. Don’t quote me on that one.

After the chair was dry from the first layer of paint, I figured I should remove the wooden seat bottom before giving it any more paint. You’ll probably want to do this earlier but it really doesn’t matter too much if you’re planning on reupholstering the whole lot like I did. This is the chair after a coat of Behr paint in “Antique White” and a coat of that “Crystal Clear” polyurethane.

While waiting for that to dry, I turned my attention to the seat bottom itself. There was no way I was going to put that brown pleather, that I half painted, back on the chair.

My solution was to strip the pleather cover off of the seat cushion and then place it over the seat bottom. Once I placed the two on top of each other, I used a pair of scissors to trim the cushion down to the size of the seat bottom. Use glue to stick the two together so that it doesn’t move around later. Then I used the striped fabric we had purchased from Tru-Mart to cover the whole thing.

I forgot to pack my staple gun when traveling, so here’s my improvised reupholstery techniques. First, use a quality fabric. They make upholstery fabric for a reason. It will cost substantially more but is worth it since the dense material will take the constant wear and tear of daily use. But if you’re not planning on using it much, then I guess whatever fabric will do. Once you have your fabric, find the correct side, or the side that you want everyone to see. Place that side facing the ground (or another clean, hard surface). Then place the seat bottom plus cushion on top of that. Trim the fabric to the shape of the seat bottom but in a larger scale. You want enough excess fabric to attach to the back of the cushion. After the fabric is trimmed to size, you want to go ahead and attach the fabric to the seat cushion with nails. Get the thin one inch nails that don’t have much of a head. The ones that are in small clear hanging packs at The Home Depot. Use these in lieu of a staple gun. To do so, you want to hold the fabric tight, then hammer the nail halfway down its entire length. Once halfway buried, take your hammer and start hammering the nail on its side until the whole thing is flush with the seat bottom surface. The end result should be a right angle that securely holds the fabric down to the seat bottom. Use as many nails as you need to to get the fabric to rest taut. I think I ended up using at least twenty for this project. I prefer staple guns but this really does work just as well.

And this is the Dumpster Diving Chair “After”. The bright turquoise fabric choice gives the chair an updated “fun” look, although I’m not sure how a chair has fun.

Beside that chair is a black dresser my sister bought years ago for $15, off of Craigslist. The overly gold hardware kind of gives it a Chinese lacquered tea room look that I wasn’t too big of a fan of. But here is the dresser “Before”.

And here are some scrap pieces of off-white paper that I rounded up.

To change the entire look of the dresser, I cut the paper into rectangular pieces measured to the size of the inside of each gold hardware plate. Then I glued it down. The end result was more Restoration Hardware vintage dresser versus something out of a Chinatown attic.

Pillows are pricey. I have no idea why, since they’re so cheap to make. So it should come as no surprise that I was spending the night sewing a pillowcase in my pajamas. Below is the upholstery material I flew in with. It was leftover from another chair reupholstery project.

I took the fabric and measured it to the exact size of the pillow which was 18×18 inches. Then I cut the fabric out in three pieces, leaving a generous centimeter of extra fabric around the perimeter.

This is a really clean way to sew a pillowcase, with no zipper. I’ll show you in a later post how to do it exactly, since it’s a bit detailed. But it’s basically three pieces with the two smaller ones overlapping in the back.

Using a backstitch, I hand sewed the fabric and inserted a pillow my sister already had in her possession to form this. Here is the pillow “After”.

Next, I turned my attention to her green dresser. I liked the color but was not a big fan of the knobs themselves. What I wanted to buy were these rope knotted dresser knobs at Anthropologie for $12 each. With twelve dresser knobs, it seemed a bit frivolous to spend $144 on a dresser’s hardware, so I decided to make my own nautical themed knobs. Here’s what I started off with.

I then took wrapping twine and tied a tight knot into one of the ends, like this.

Then you take an upholstery tack and jab it directly into the middle of the knot. Trim off the excess rope. Home Depot sells these tacks in the nails section.

Take that knot and tack contraption and nail it directly into the center of each dresser knob. This will only work with wooden knobs.

Using E-6000 glue, I dabbed on a generous amount of the stuff to adhere the twine to the wood. I wrapped it continuously around the tack until I reached the knob’s outer edge. Then I held it in place with a pin. Take this out when it is completely dry. I recommend E-6000 since it’s my favorite but you can use any heavy duty glue (like Gorilla Glue) as long as it’s easy to peel off of your hands at the end. This project can get a bit messy so please don’t use Super Glue. I haven’t used that stuff ever since it glued together my eyelids…last month. But here’s the end result. It cost about $8 to make when Anthropologie knobs would’ve been $144.

Here’s a close up of some of the things I made on top of the dresser. The “S” letter thing was made with random stuff I found for cheap at an architectural salvage store in Seattle. I think some are actually those window clasps you see in old buildings. The artwork itself was actually canvas she already had. I covered it with chalkboard paint, let dry and then drew on it with a paint pen. It’s Mo, the best dog in the world. According to Mo.

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 2

Posted on February 9, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

You know you have a thrifting addiction when you find yourself at a NYC street corner, mentally shopping out of homeless person’s shopping cart/home-on-the-go. In my defense, that woman had a lampshade that, I swear, was a Tiffany original. I envy. Anyhow, back to the apartment. After some Pushcart Coffee, my sister and I headed on over to what she refers to as “Thrift Row”. Goodwill, Salvation Army, Housing Works, Vintage Thrift, they were all there. I was not like a kid in a candy store. I was more like a contestant on Supermarket Sweep, trying to stuff a Bonus blow up Hamburger Helper hand into my shopping cart within 60 seconds. My advice on successful thrifting? Put away your expensive handbags and engagement rings. No sane person is willing to haggle down the price of a $50 chair with a woman wearing a $50,000 engagement ring. I get my best haggling deals using a Trader Joe’s reusable shopping bag as my purse. But that’s how we got this antique table for $40. Table was originally $75. We showed up with Trader Joe’s handbags. Ten minutes later, we’re carrying a (very heavy) table back to the apartment, with the intention of turning it into a coffee table. Below is a picture of the coffee table “Before”.

To turn this table into a proper coffee table, I needed to make it not so tall. I guess “shorter” would be the word. To remedy this problem, I sought out the help of the superintendent of the building. I needed a saw. He had tons. After asking me roughly ten questions all centered around the key theme of, “You’re not planning on using my saws to hack any bodies, right?” I finally got my hands on a saw. Then, I went back to the apartment to saw off the legs to my desired height preference. Legs of the table, that is.

While I was sawing away (it was real wood, so it was super dense and hard), my sister sat on a chair and told me, “I’d help but you have a wedding to look good for, so this is a great way to work out those arms. You can thank me later”.

For this coffee table, I envisioned an antique white finish over layers of vintage blue. To achieve this look, I gathered together all of my supplies which consisted of sandpaper, paint, paintbrushes and rollers. You want to get the densely packed foam roller for this project. Much smoother finish. Oh, make sure you measure the table legs of any table if you’re going to saw it short. You don’t want to be known as that house with the deck of cards under the leg of the dining room table, cause Mommy/Daddy couldn’t be bothered to measure correctly.

First, I gently sanded the table. Then I wiped it down with a damp cloth and let it dry. This didn’t take long. It’s not long enough for a full martini break. Just a sip-and-bite-of-olive long break. For this table, I bought a Behr sample of paint in “River Walk”. With a paintbrush, I slowly applied very thin layers of blue paint to the entire table, making sure to leave bits of the gorgeous wood carvings to show through for an antique brushed look. You don’t want to load up on paint. Work in a crosshatch pattern with your brush. Oh, I forgot. I took off the hardware before painting. You should probably do the same.

After I waited for the blue layer to dry (it doesn’t take long since it’s so thin), I used the same painting technique to apply two layers of Behr paint in “Antique White”. The end effect should have bits of wood and vintage blue popping out between layers of antique white. To seal it all in, I added a layer of clear polyurethane once the paint was dry. Get the canister marked “Crystal Clear” or else you end up with the nasty yellow tinged “Clear” kind.

To finish off the table, I re-added the carved brass hardware and lined the inside of the drawer with leftover scrapbook paper.

Coffee table “After”.

Same table, different view.

Once I was done with the coffee table, I turned to the issue of providing privacy for the space. I didn’t want to do long curtains since the bookcases sat directly below it and would’ve been covered by any long fabric. Short curtains were out of the question as well since I think they look tacky. Roman shades were also an option, but I chose to do a faux etched glass look for this room’s windows instead. This window effect provides an opaque lacy look that allows plenty of light in but leaves the curious eyes of neighbors (across the courtyard) out. The best part is that the window treatment can be undone upon move out with a wet sponge and some patience. To create a faux etched glass look, I needed starch as well as sheer fabric. Luckily, I packed panels of such fabric in my luggage. This one was purchased from an Austin Goodwill years ago for $1.99.

After giving the windows a thorough wipe down, I measured the glass area I wanted to cover. Then I cut the fabric accordingly.

For this fabric, since it’s light, I was able to put it up with heavy starch spray. Just spray the window, then spray the side of the fabric that’ll touch the window and press down. Spray as much as you need to. You may want to lay down a towel over any area directly under this. It gets a bit drippy.

Smooth out the air bubbles with your hands. If you have a straight edge or squeegee, this will be a good time to make use of those.

Since the spray can version of starch only works for the lighter fabrics, I had to find a different solution for the heavier lace material I wanted to use for the side windows. So, I made my own starch. To make this, you’ll need to dissolve 1/4 cup of starch in 1/2 a cup of cold water. Stir it around a bit until the starch dissolves. Then I boiled 4 cups of water in a pot and slowly added the starch mixture once it was hot enough. Keep stirring until the starch is broken down and the mixture is slightly opaque. Once this happens, turn off the heat and let cool. Using a brush, apply the cooled off starch mixture to the window. Soak the heavy fabric in the starch mixture and apply the heavy fabric in the same manner as the lighter one.

We bought the lovely lace on the side windows after searching for “un-trashy” lace for two days. After checking out several fabric stores, we ended up at a corner store called Tru-Mart. The service was horrible, the 10×20 ft store resembled a fabric hoarder’s paradise with nowhere to walk (or run away) but hey, the price was right. We ended up getting two yards of this lace, two yards of burlap and three yards of striped linen for $23. When you’re dealing with wet fabric, it tends to stretch a bit so you may end up having to cut away some of the excess fabric off the sides of the window. Wait until it’s dry though. But this is the window area “After” during daylight hours.

And this is the window area “After” after sunset.

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 1

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

I have a sister and she lives in a rabbit hole. Seriously though, I’ve seen homeless people in Seattle with roomier sidewalk real estate property. But the plus side of it all is that her Gramercy neighborhood apartment in NYC does have less dog poop. Which is always a huge selling point, I’ve heard. For those of you unfamiliar with the Manhattan landscape, this area is where Gossip Girls is filmed. That meant nothing to me either. My sister called me up one day and said, “I’m booking you a flight to NYC. You’re redoing my apartment. Oh, don’t pack any clothes, you can just wear mine”. I responded, “OK. Let me finish my everything bagel first”. Fast forward to a few weeks later and I’m lugging around a suitcase filled with crafting supplies, undergarments and shoes through the streets of Manhattan. If anyone were to look through my luggage, I would appear to be some sort of traveling hooker with a penchant for crafting. An interesting visual, I dare say. But below is a photo of the space I was working with. It’s 500sf in all but the areas I worked on (bedroom/living and kitchen) were 248sf in total. You know your parents’ garage that’s too small for the car so they use it as storage? That’s just about the kind of space I had to work with.

She pretty much gave me free range over decorating but did have a list of things she wanted me to remedy. First was that she wanted window treatments. This was so that her neighbor across the courtyard could stop intentionally peering in and then acting surprised every time she caught him in the act. Second, she wanted to form two separate areas between her sleeping area and the living room. Third, she wanted to spend as little as possible because cheap runs in our family. And lastly, she wanted me to keep my flu viruses to myself. I packed that along with me from Seattle too. But here’s a quick rundown of the big furniture pieces my sister already had in her possession.

Chloe sofa: Half off from Macy’s during their holiday sale. Always buy quality sofas and seating. People look and sit on these things and can tell the difference. Buy the nicer sofa (quality retailers always have sales, just be patient) or find a vintage one with good bones and have it reupholstered.

Black dresser to the left: $15 off of Craigslist.

Black vanity to the left: $20

Green dresser: $75 off of Craigslist

Light green table: $149 from an antique store in the Hamptons when we were there for Labor Day years ago. This is a view of the main living space, if I stand on the bed and look down.

So this was roughly how Day 1 went:

3:45- Alarm goes off in Seattle.

3:45- Turned off the alarm.

6:10- Made it to SeaTac airport after a two hour long game of “Silence My Alarm Clock”. I lost.

7:10- Pretended to fall asleep so that I didn’t have to talk to the person next to me for the next 5.5 hours.

3:40 (switch to EST now)- Landed at JFK.

4:20- Finally arrived at my destination after a 40 minute train ride in which I had to listen to a woman talk about the benefits of having leg hair in the winter. I tend to agree.

5:30- Ate the best chicken meatballs ever at Penelope’s.

6:30- Left Penelope’s. Briefly considered changing clothes and going back in for some more chicken meatballs. Decided against it for reasons I’ve categorized as “public appearance of sanity”.

7:00- Entered Home Depot. Left Home Depot 30 minutes later with a gallon, quart and three samples of paint plus painting supplies.

8:00- In bed, portioning out my Ricola cough drop supply. Declared to my sister that artsy fartsy people don’t create if awoken before sunrise. So the official Day 1 didn’t start until Day 2. Let me know if that confuses anyone.

Okay, so on the official start day, I began by painting the apartment. My sister has a lot of random things. All colorful. And most have been around since her college years. My whole goal for the apartment was to edit her home to make it look less like the ramen noodle college years and more like the current days of “Mario Batali, are you sure those noodles are al dente?”. So, I thought I would bring together all of her colorful possessions with Glidden’s “Pebble Grey” hue in a matte finish. I opted for a bright white Behr color for the trim and bookcases. When in doubt, go for a subtle hue. You don’t want to be stuck with a bright red wall a la 2002. That’s just tragic.

I’ve been painting walls freehand ever since I found out that painter’s tape and I really don’t understand one another. It never works for me. I’ll teach you how to paint without painter’s tape in a later post. Plus, it saves you time and money in the long run.

This 1966 apartment is in an amazing post-war building so it has great features like built in bookcases. The bookcases themselves are fantastic. The orange-y wood grain finish? Not so much. I ended up painting the whole thing white.

While the paint was drying on the walls and bookcases, I went to Paper Presentation on 18th Street for some scrapbook paper. I cut the paper to the bookcases’ backing measurements and attached it all together with some two-faced tape. This was my answer to a temporary “wallpaper” since it can be peeled and discarded when the move out date nears.

And here is half of the bookcase after a few coats of paint and my faux wallpaper treatment.

My sister has some books. Mainly ones she’s stolen from my collection and has yet to read or return. But either way, to make the books more cohesive (for some reason, there were way too many hot pink book covers happening), I rounded up all paper shopping bags and scrap paper she had, to re-cover the books.

They turned out pretty well, especially the books I wrapped in Anthropologie bags. The metal grommeted bag makes for a pretty cute cover if you cut off the red and white fabric handle. Save that too. You can use it to wrap up small gifts. You’re welcome.

It didn’t take long to re-cover my sister’s collection of permanently “borrowed” books so after, I started to look for more things to redo. My eyes fell upon this jewelry box that she’s had since high school. A gift from a close friend of hers, there wasn’t anything wrong with the box. I just thought it would look even better with a coat of Behr’s “Antique White” paint. Here’s the “Before”.

And here’s the “After”.

While waiting for that to dry, I went thrifting with my sister. Now, I always hear, “There’s no good stuff at the Goodwill and Salvation Army in NYC”. There are amazing things but most people just don’t feel comfortable shopping amongst crazy homeless people. I couldn’t care less. The best thing about shopping at the Goodwill in NYC is that since its clientele is mainly homeless people, they have no need to buy housing goods. They all flock towards the combat boots section and cargo pants rack. New Yorkers have it easy. In Seattle as well as Austin, I have to battle for deals amongst rich hippie people who try their hardest to look poor so as to not look like sellouts. But here are the goods I found while shopping at thrift stores and Fishs Eddy on Day 1:

Goodwill NYC: Glass lamp base ($13.49), wine rack ($2.99) and 2 terra cotta pots the cashier forgot to charge us for.

Fishs Eddy: Glass cake stand plus dome ($11.97) which was 30% off for having a small defect and an avocado green porcelain colander which was on sale for $9.98.

I went home and immediately placed the moss my sister had collected from Seattle’s Lopez Island inside the cake stand plus dome for an instant terrarium.

Also from Goodwill are these plaster medallions and etched tile that I purchased for $2.69 each. The books piled on top of one another are from a thrift store called Vintage Thrift. $21.23 for the whole lot. The big blue book was a Salvation Army find for $4.99.

Goodwill also provided us with cute knickknacks like these porcelain jars which were .89 cents and $1.97. The green candleholder was $1.98. Tell them you’re a college kid for the 10% discount, even if you’re not. Worst they can do is say “No” and they never do. Anyhow, the huge spools of thread are from Housing Works. The two bigs ones were $10 each, the small one was $5. If you’re ever in NYC, go there. Great cause (AIDS charity) and even greater finds.

And (finally), here are the Bookcase “After” pictures:

The other side “After” pictures. Oh, I also made that mint shelf to the top left from a drawer I found at Butler’s Antique’s in Fort Worth years ago. For $5, it was a steal. I used scrapbook paper to detail the backing and added some interesting metal brackets and hardware.

Doo-doing The Bathroom, Hallways & Patio

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

The bathroom. People spend a lot of time in here alone. You, your guests…the maintenance man who’s there to unclog your drain, and tell you that you need to cut your hair short so that he doesn’t have to unclog so often. I mentally fired him but it hasn’t happened in real life yet. I’ll let you know when it transpires. But with the sort of friends and family I have, I know they’ll be snooping through my bathroom cabinets unsupervised, so I’ve developed a guideline on How To Impress Your Guest While They’re Peeing. You might want to bookmark this. You won’t learn this sort of stuff from Martha Stewart.

How To Impress Your Guest While They’re Peeing

Your toilet paper choice is a direct reflection of your income and social standing. Choose wisely.

Seventh Generation: This is the recycled toilet paper of choice for hipsters/hippies who pray at the alter of Whole Foods. My fiancé used to use this brand until I pointed out that their toilet paper division is based on the phrase, “There’s softer bathroom tissue out there, but ours does more”. If you buy this brand, you’re going to have to keep the wrapper on the rolls so that your guests know that you are an Earthlover with disposable income. Without the wrapper, I’m afraid your guests will assume that you stole toilet paper from the airport because in all honesty, there is no difference between the two.
Quilted Northern Ultra Plush: This toilet paper says the buyer is a person with a substantial savings account and marinated gourmet olives in the fridge. Nothing impresses a guest more than the quilted look. You have arrived my friend, congratulations.
Singly-ply tissue: Quickest way to not have any return houseguests. No one wants to have poor friends with debt issues.

2. Choose your magazines and newspapers wisely. I subscribe to The New York Times just so that my guests can think I’m educated, worldly and can’t finish the Saturday crossword puzzle.

3. Hide your makeup unless you want your $43 Laura Mercier foundation to be half empty, and your Maybelline $2 lipgloss undisturbed but the subject of a text sent from your guest to a mutual friend that goes “I can’t believe she uses grocery store makeup…ew”.

4. You may want to do a little pruning of your medicine cabinet. You lose friends with herpes medication, you gain friends with some manic pills. Those people are fun. Half of the time.

5. Finally, keep your bathroom clean. Seriously. Clean it. You’ll keep more friends that way. Trust me. Here’s the “Before” picture.

Bathroom “After”. I added the medicine cabinet to provide extra storage. The towel rack on the left is actually a piece of driftwood I took from Discovery Park. Apothecary jars are used as storage for bar soaps and supplies. I also have an antique shaving kit and English dairy bottle on the counter if you look closely enough.

Cost:

Medicine cabinet: $89 (Home Depot, my second favorite store after Goodwill)

Apothecary jars: $8 for 2 (Austin Goodwill)

English dairy jar: $8 (Butler’s Antiques in Fort Worth, TX)

Shaving kit: $Free.99 (Fiance’s mom’s storage unit)

Bathroom “After”. I made a toilet paper holder by buying a plain wooden box from a craft store, painting it grey and attaching fabric and frame to the front. The photos up top are ones I’ve collected over the years from garage sales and thrift stores. The magazine rack was bought at a Goodwill in Austin.

Cost:

Wooden craft box: $5 (Michael’s, buy and stock up when they’re 50% off)

Magazine rack: $6 (Austin Goodwill)

Photos: 99 cents apiece (Austin Goodwill)

Frames: $4 apiece (Austin garage sales)

Bathroom “After”. One of my favorite pieces, this side table was a wedding gift to my fiance’s great great grandmother. It requires weekly applications of lemon oil since it’s fairly fragile due to years of neglect but it works well as a towel and hamper storage for the bathroom.

Cost: Free

Bedroom Hallway “After”. The chair was purchased from Goodwill at $12.99 and reupholstered with a yellow/grey starburst pattern. I found these old frames at flea markets, repainted them and added scrap bits of wallpaper to the border and then hung them up. The front one is off iron hooks from the ceiling and has sheer fabric attached to the back. The walking stick to the right was handmade in Cambodia. The basket underneath is full of yarn…so this is really my knitting area complete with the old person’s walking stick.

Cost:

Chair: $12.99 (Austin Goodwill)

3 Frames: $17 (Flea market in Fort Worth, TX)

Hallway “After”. Not much going on here since I like to keep the entryway clutter-free but to the left is a shoe cupboard I’ve outfitted with interesting knobs. To the right is a handcarved chair I found for $8 that dates back to the 1940′s.

Cost:

Ikea shoe cupboard: $150

Dresser knobs: 6 at $8 apiece (Anthropologie)

Chair: $8 (Austin garage sale)

Patio “Before”. This is the smallest patio I’ve ever seen but also one of the fewest ones seen in Seattle. Most places here don’t have a patio. People go sit in the woods, with their tops off, singing campfire songs when they want to sit outside. Oh, that’s my dog, Mo. She goes topless all of the time.

Patio “After”. I’ve planted fuchsia (correct spelling, I swear), sweet potatoes, strawberries, peppers, basil, lemongrass, rosemary, foxgloves, maidenhair, lavender, hydrangeas, delphiniums, sage…the tricky part was mounting the planters to a solid metal wall. My fiance figured out how using those metal bars and some brain power. The sign between the planters was taken from Colorado State Park during our first camping trip.

Cost:

All plants: $75 (Home Depot, Ravenna Gardens)

Planters: $80 (Home Depot and Seattle Goodwill)

Soil: $12

Outdoor seating: $300 (Pier 1 Imports)

Outdoor pillows: $21 (30% off at Pier 1 Imports)

This is a vintage sewing table that no longer works.

I unscrewed the machine from the table and hacked off the bottoms…

…to make an outdoor table/cooler (since the top opens up). The milk rack on top is an antique one I bought from Goodwill for $1.99. I used it to display some mossy plants. You can’t really see but behind the chair is a planter that I made from upending a coffee table that I made when I was 17, lining the inside with coffee burlap bags and filling with soil and plants. You can see a better picture of it in the photo right before this one. It’s in the far left corner.

Cost:

Sewing table: Free (Given)

Milk rack: $1.99 (Austin Goodwill)

Mossy plants: $8 (Home Depot)

Dog: Not Free

Total Cost: $859.96 for all three areas.

Paint Chips & Salsa: Decorating The Kitchen & Dining Area

Posted on January 31, 2013 by Will Craft For Food

Kitchen “Before”. I flew in after the movers unpacked and this was, by far, the most time intensive area to organize. Mainly because I cook every day and I may or may not have a slight case of serious OCD.

Kitchen “After”. I don’t believe in decorating the kitchen with useless things (unless it’s a tree stump on top of the cabinets…see picture for example) so I splurge on buying really nice cooking supplies since they double as decor. I also like to buy apothecary jars to store dog food/treats and glass beer jugs to store flours. Then there is my obsession with buying mortar and pestles. The one to the immediate right of the stove was given to me by my mom along with the cutting board behind it. They were among her first purchases when she arrived in the U.S. in 1981.

Cost:

Apothecary jars: $30 (Marshall’s)

Crate and Barrel mortar and pestle: $35

Papaya salad mortar and pestle: $20 (Phnom Kiev Supermarket in Seattle)

Glass beer jugs: $6 for 2 (Seattle Goodwill)

Anthropologie measuring cups and spoons: $50

Frame that I repainted and filled with dried moss: $8 (Austin Goodwill)

2 woven baskets: $8 for 2 (Austin Goodwill)

Iron napkin holder that I refinished: $5 (Austin Goodwill)

Kitchen “After”. I used molding to make display areas in the kitchen. The frame to the top right is an antique one from my fiance’s great great grandmother that I used to frame moss. Below it is a shadowbox that I found at a garage sale and turned into a recipe holder. Left of that are tin cans I papered and use to hold cinnamon sticks and herbs. And above that is a mirror I found at a thrift store and repainted a distressed white.

Cost:

Molding: $25

Shadowbox: $3 (Garage sale in Austin)

Apothecary Jars: $24

Recycling Bags: I think they were $16 for two (World Market)

Kitchen “After”. Because we are tree hugging hippies, I repurposed random glass jars into pantry storage. I would show you the organization of the other cabinets but have been told that my facing-labels-in-one-direction was kinda creepy.

Cost:

Glass jars: Free

Dining Table “Before”. I actually took two pieces of furniture to make this. The bottom is the pedestal for an Ikea table that I attached an antique tabletop to. The tabletop has been in my fiance’s family since the early 1900′s which I sanded, painted, resanded and repainted to have it match the pedestal.

Dining Table “After”. I used epoxy spray paint to do this table since it’s extremely hard and durable and will take the daily wear and tear.

Cost:

Epoxy paint in “Gloss White”: $12

Table was free using two existing tables.

Dining Area “After”. This side table was made by my fiance’s family in the early 1900′s using old barnwood. I cut it down by a foot to make it usable in this space. Flanking it to the left is driftwood I took from a nudist beach on Lopez Island. Above the table are antique doorknobs and hardware that I’ve collected from flea markets and thrift stores. The framed pieces are artwork comprised of receipts, cards and maps of our travels.

Cost:

Frames: About $65 in all. Most are from garage sales and thrift stores.

Total cost for Kitchen & Dining Area: $307

willcraftforfood

If Bob Villa & Martha Stewart Had A Lovechild

Tag Archives: diy

Thank You For Not Stealing My Baby Name; Here’s A Bookcase

Tin Can-delier: Chandelier Made Of Tin Cans

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Final Day (Finally)

The Key(board) To A Computer Nerd’s Heart

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 4

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 3

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 2

5 Days, $500, 248 sf NYC Apt…Go!: Day 1

Doo-doing The Bathroom, Hallways & Patio

Paint Chips & Salsa: Decorating The Kitchen & Dining Area

Follow “willcraftforfood”